If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
