thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
