ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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