I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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