it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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