Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
