I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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