You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
