come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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