he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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