The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
