THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
