I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
