im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
