well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
