In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
