Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize