Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
