end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
