i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
