Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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