Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
