It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
