Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
