She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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