I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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