I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
