so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
