we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
