so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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