Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
