Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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