can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
