Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
