Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
