Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
