just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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