apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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