she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
