how do flat chested girls get laid?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also, beer. Big fan.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
