You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
