just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
