I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't think brook has ever known best
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
