Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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