my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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