i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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