so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
