You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
