You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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