Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
