Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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