Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Fuck appropriateness.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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