I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
