TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
