I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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