Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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