her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
