Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
