wakey wakey hands off snakey
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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