Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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