So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize