Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
