well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
whose parrot is this?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
