Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
