Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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